Safe Church Policy
At Ferrysburg Community Church (FCC) we are a community where all kinds of people are becoming like Jesus by growing closer to God, growing deeper in His family, and growing louder in His world. As a community of all kinds of people, we seek to be a place where each person can grow in a relationship with Jesus. This means being a congregation where all can worship and grow in their faith free from abuse, and where those who have been victimized by abuse can receive support in their journey toward healing. In instituting this policy, we commit to protecting and supporting the value and dignity of each person, especially the most vulnerable among us, and to being a community that makes every effort to prevent abuse in our midst. Scroll down to read our Safe Church Policy or click the button to download.
Table of Contents
1. Introduction
2. Definitions
3. General Guidelines and Expectations of Ministry Leaders
4. General Guidelines Pertaining To Criteria For Safe Supervision of Children, Youth and Vulnerable Adults
5. Program-specific Guidelines for Abuse Prevention of Children, Youth and Vulnerable Adults
6. Guidelines for Pastoral Visitation
7. Responding to Abuse
Appendix A: State/Provincial Definitions
Appendix B: Signs and Symptoms of Child Abuse – School Age
Appendix C: Responding to a Disclosure of Abuse from a Child
Appendix D: Confidentiality
Appendix E: Code of Conduct for Children & Youth Ministry Leaders
Appendix F: CHILDREN & YOUTH WORKER APPLICATION FORM
Appendix G: CHILDREN & YOUTH WORKER RENEWAL FORM
Appendix H: PARTICIPATION & RELEASE FORM
Appendix I: ACCIDENT OR INCIDENT REPORT
1. Introduction
A. Vision:
At Ferrysburg Community Church (FCC) we are a community where all kinds of people are becoming like Jesus by growing closer to God, growing deeper in His family, and growing louder in His world. As a community of all kinds of people, we seek to be a place where each person can grow in a relationship with Jesus. This means being a congregation where all can worship and grow in their faith free from abuse, and where those who have been victimized by abuse can receive support in their journey toward healing. In instituting this policy, we commit to protecting and supporting the value and dignity of each person, especially the most vulnerable among us, and to being a community that makes every effort to prevent abuse in our midst.
B. Scope:
This policy is intended to systematically prevent all forms of abuse and the misuse of power within our congregation and the following ministries:
Sunday Children’s Ministries
GEMS
GymJam
MomCo
VBS
Youth Group
Pastoral Visits
Food Pantry
C. Purpose of this Policy:
The purpose of FCC’s Safe Church Policy is to ensure the physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being of each person in our church by:
Outlining safeguards for all volunteers and paid staff who regularly serve within the church to provide a safe, nurturing, and secure environment.
Ensuring training for staff, leaders, and volunteers on the FCC’s Safe Church Policy.
Providing a safe place for any person to come forward with a disclosure of abuse and outlining the procedure to respond to allegations.
Practicing the diligence required as the church, abiding by the laws of our state and country, and satisfying requirements from insurance companies to limit the risk of abuse or harm.
D. Development and Approval of this Policy:
The FCC Safe Church Policy has been developed by the Safe Church Team following the CRC Safe Church Ministry guidelines with the input and support of different church leaders. The final document is approved by the Ferrysburg Community Church’s Council. The approval date reflects the effective date as well.
E. Distribution of this Policy:
The Ferrysburg Community Church’s Safe Church Policy is published on the church’s website (https://ferrysburgchurch.com/SafeChurch). It is also stored in a safe location in the church office and it can be made available upon request. Anytime a hard copy is used, it is the user’s responsibility to confirm that the newest approved version is being referenced. This can be done via the church website or by confirming with one the members of the FCC Safe Church Team.
2. Definitions*:
*The following definitions are taken from the guidelines approved by CRCNA’s Synod 2010 and the COD 2022.
A. Misconduct
As a church, we are committed to holding our leaders and volunteers to the highest standard of behavior. Therefore, the following definitions of abuse go beyond legal definitions to include any form of ungodly conduct, misuse of power, misuse of spiritual authority, sexually inappropriate behavior, neglect, and abuse of office.
1. Physical Misconduct is:
a. Threatened harm or non-accidental act inflicted on a minor or vulnerable adult.
b. Offensive or harmful contact with an adult.
2. Sexual Misconduct is:
a. Exploiting or grooming (preparing) a minor or an adult – regardless of consent or circumstances – for the purpose of sexual touch, sexual activity, or emotional intimacy with the result of either sexual gratification or power and control over the minor and/or adult.
b. Unwelcome touch, sexual activity, or emotional intimacy between co-workers, co-volunteers, or sexual touch, sexual activity, or emotional intimacy between a supervisor and a subordinate who serve together in a church ministry.
c. The development or attempt of a ministry leader to develop a sexual or emotional relationship with a participant in the ministries of the church.
3. Emotional Misconduct is:
Behavior in which a person insults, humiliates, and manipulates an individual or group in order to establish or maintain control over them. Emotional misconduct includes:
Threatening a person’s safety, property, or loved ones;
Isolating a person from family, friends, and acquaintances;
Demeaning, bullying, belittling, shaming, or humiliating a person;
Delivering constant criticism, or emotionally blackmailing or harassing a person.
4. Spiritual Misconduct is:
Emotional and psychological abuse is characterized by a systematic pattern of coercive and controlling behavior in a religious context. Spiritual misconduct may include:
Manipulation and exploitation by appeal to religious convictions and beliefs;
Requirements for secrecy and silence;
Coercion to conform [inability to ask questions];
Requirement of obedience to the abuser;
The suggestion that the abuser holds a ‘divine’ position;
B. Concepts of Abuse of Power
Power: Power is the ability to influence or affect an outcome.
Abuse of power: Abuse of power is misusing power to harm another person or using power and influence for personal gain at the expense of another person. Power can be used to harm another person intentionally or through ignorance, subtly or overtly, to advance one’s own desires without regard for the needs or desires of others.
C. Position Titles
Safe Church Team: The Safe Church Team shall consist of at least 2 people, including one ordained elder of the church.
Ministry Leader: Any person, paid or volunteer, ordained or unordained, in a position of leadership over an area or aspect of ministry in Ferrysburg Community Church. (This includes pastors, ministry directors, elders, deacons, GEMS and Cadet leaders, youth leaders, etc.)
Adult Volunteer: Any volunteer over the age of 18 who leads or assists ministry programming.
Premises Monitor: A volunteer specifically tasked with monitoring each group of children or youth that does not have two adults present. Checks on each group must be done at least every 15 minutes.
Helper: A youth who assists a volunteer in a program.
Child: Children 0 - 10 years of age.
Youth: Children from 11 to 18 years of age.
Vulnerable Adult: A person over the age of 18 who is unable to protect himself or herself from abuse, neglect, or exploitation because of a mental or physical impairment or advanced age.
3. General Guidelines and Expectations of Ministry Leaders Who Work with Children, Youth, or Vulnerable Adults
A. All ministry staff leaders/pastors, council members, and adult volunteers will complete an initial volunteer application and agree to a criminal background check and a Central Registry/Child Abuse Registry check at the beginning of their service. (Appendix F) Background checks will be renewed annually (Appendix G).
B. Each ministry leader working with children/youth shall sign and commit to conducting themselves according to the Code of Ethics (see Appendix E). The church office will keep a signed copy of the Code of Ethics for each ministry leader on file.
C. All ministry leaders, adult volunteers, and helpers must attend a yearly training session on the Ferrysburg Community Church Safe Church Policy. Training sessions will be held at the beginning of each church program year and thereafter as needed. If a ministry leader is unable to attend, they have the option to meet with a member of the Safe Church Team for individual training and sign off on compliance.
D. In addition to a background check, new prospective volunteers must attend Ferrysburg Community Church or be well known to multiple members of Ferrysburg Church for at least six months before supervising children, youth, or vulnerable adults.
E. If information revealed during the background check indicates that the potential volunteer may pose a risk to the safety of others in the church, then this information may only be shared with the individual, the Safe Church Team, and/or the pastor. No applicant ever convicted of criminal sexual conduct is eligible for service in a position with children or other vulnerable populations.
F. All ministry leaders and volunteer leaders are required to report any suspected abuse of a minor or vulnerable adult (physical, sexual, emotional, neglect) to the civil authorities. For more guidance, see “Responding to a Disclosure of Abuse from a Child” in Appendix C.
G. All ministry leaders and volunteer leaders are required to use their access to the church's internet and technology belonging to the church (computers, laptops, cell phones, etc.) in legal ways, reflect godly conduct, and conform to network etiquette, laws, and courtesies.
H. The name and contact information of a representative of the Safe Church Team will be posted in public and visible places with the following message: "If you have concerns or witnessed something in our church that may be defined as abuse or neglect, please reach out to one of our Safe Church Team Members: Saskia Kendziera (saskia@ferrysburgchurch.com or Lori Houskamp (lori@ferrysburgchurch.com or 616-842-3880 ext.4).”
4. General Guidelines Pertaining To Criteria For Safe Supervision of Children, Youth, and Vulnerable Adults
These guidelines are designed to protect children, youth, and vulnerable adults from harm while attending and participating in church-sponsored events.
A. Two-Adult Rule & The Rule of Three:
At all church-sponsored functions involving the supervision of children, youth, or vulnerable adults, either the Two Adult Rule or the Rule of Three will be practiced. No staff or volunteers should be alone with a single child, youth, or vulnerable adult in locations where they cannot be clearly observed by others.
The Two-Adult Rule: At least two screened, unrelated adults who are not in a dating relationship must be present at every function and in each room, vehicle, or other enclosed area during all activities involving children, youth, or vulnerable adults.
The Rule of Three:
a. When there is not a capacity to abide by the Two-Adult Rule, it may be acceptable to use the Rule of Three: At least three individuals must be present at every function and in each classroom, vehicle, or other enclosed area during all activities involving children, youth, or vulnerable adults. One of the three must be a screened adult. If the child is under 6 years of age, the second individual must be at least 13 years of age.
b. When the Rule of Three is used, there must be another unrelated screened adult volunteer nearby or in proximity monitoring the group. Additionally, there should be a clear and unobstructed view into the room/space where the supervision is taking place.
Minimum Ratios: In addition, the following ratios of volunteers: children/youth must be maintained: Nursery 1:3, Explore 1:6, Wonder 1:8, Dig 1:10, GEMS 1:10, Youth Group 1:15.
B. One-to-One Meetings:
In children and youth ministry, there are times when a ministry leader or volunteer leader seeks to meet one-to-one with a youth or child. Because the imbalance of power is particularly pronounced when a child or youth is alone with an adult, it is crucial that ministry leaders and volunteer leaders follow safe protocols.
The meeting must take place in a public place (i.e. restaurant, coffee shop, bookstore, etc.) with the permission and knowledge of the parents. All scheduling and communication regarding meetings must include the parent/guardian via CC on emails or group texts.
C. Transportation:
Transportation during Ferrysburg Community Church youth activities may only be provided by licensed adult drivers, age 21 or older. Exceptions may only be made under extenuating circumstances (such as emergency situations) by the Youth Director or a church staff member with the written parental permission of all students involved in alternative arrangements.
Transportation by one adult leader of one minor should be avoided. In the event that it is unavoidable, written consent from the parents/guardians of the child or youth must be obtained.
Transportation to and from youth activities is not the responsibility of Ferrysburg Community Church.
D. Discipline:
When children or youth act out during church events, ministry leaders and volunteers will take care to address the misbehavior in ways that are consistent with the following guidelines:
Corporal punishment is not permitted (spanking, pinching, hitting).
Parents are to be informed whenever a child/youth misbehaves beyond minor correction or if a pattern of misbehavior develops.
An aide or parent should be involved in classrooms where misbehavior is an ongoing problem.
Appropriate types of discipline are to be reviewed with volunteers/staff annually.
Whenever possible, leaders should address disruptive behavior by:
redirecting the child/youth to another activity
helping the child/youth focus on a more acceptable behavior
taking the child/youth aside within sight of another adult
Appropriate physical contact includes high-fives, fist-bumps, handshakes, and side hugs. Lap sitting and full hugs should be discouraged. Kissing is not permitted.
E. Guidelines for Using Electronic Communication (Social Media Messaging, Email, or Texting):
All ministry staff leaders and volunteers will abide by the following Electronic Communication and Social Media Usage policy in their interactions with youth and children.
The use of disappearing message apps between staff or volunteers and youth/children is not allowed.
If a digital communication raises any child protection concerns, the staff or volunteer will inform their Supervisor.
When a volunteer leaves a ministry involving youth due to misconduct of any kind, staff should request that this volunteer not contact any youth, and that all youth contact information must be removed from that adult volunteer’s devices.
F. Guidelines for Social Media Groups:
Each ministry group/class may have a Social Media (Facebook/Instagram) group, provided they follow the guidelines below:
Ministry staff/volunteers may not use any image of a child or youth without written consent of the parents and only in ways that protect the value and dignity of those pictured.
Church volunteers are forbidden to post or distribute personal identifiable information of any child under the age of eighteen. Personal identifiable information includes but is not limited to: full name, home address, email address, telephone number or any information that would allow someone to identify or contact a child or that would jeopardize their safety or well-being in any way.
5. Program-specific Guidelines for Abuse Prevention
A. Guidelines For Children’s Ministries On Sundays
A leader/supervisor and assistant will be assigned to Nursery, Explore, Wonder, and Dig (or Summer Ministries). Only adults who are screened will be able to serve as an adult volunteer.
The doors to the ministry wing will be locked ten minutes after the service begins.
A premises monitor is assigned to randomly observe groups where the Rule of Three is practiced.
No child should be left unattended in any room at any time.
Parents/guardians must check in each child at the Welcome Center when they arrive. Each child will receive a name tag, and the caregiver will receive a corresponding security tag for picking up the child. If the electronic system is not functioning, a sticker and a corresponding security sticker will be used for children and parents/guardians.
Bathroom procedures:
a. Nursery: Posted diaper changing procedures should be followed for infants. Youth helpers are not to change diapers. When changing a diaper, it should be done at the diapering station and within eyesight of other caregivers.
b. Explore: Children from 2-4 years of age in Explore class should use the adjacent bathroom with the Dutch door. Should a child require assistance, the door must be open while the adult assists.
c. Elementary: Children in Wonder, Dig, or Summer Kids’ Quest should use the bathroom independently. It is also acceptable for a child to go to the restroom with a buddy. Children should use the single bathroom and the women’s bathroom in the children’s ministry hallway. Volunteers and staff should monitor children from the hallway, but not enter the bathroom with the child. An emergency such as a child suddenly screaming, falling, or not coming out for an extended period of time would be reasons for an adult to enter the bathroom.
Accidents or illnesses must be reported immediately to the child’s parent/guardian. An Accident or Incident Report (Appendix I) should be filled out in case of accident or injury, one copy for the child’s parents, and one copy for the Children’s Ministries Coordinator, which will remain on file.
Children in nursery, Explore, Wonder, and Dig (or Summer Ministries) are to be picked up only by their parents, or by the person who brought them, unless prior arrangements have been made. They will be dismissed after proper identification is made, either because the leader knows the parent/guardian or upon return of the coordinating security label.
B. Guidelines For Middle And High School Programs
Parents/guardians must return the Participation/Release Form (Appendix H) to the director of youth programming at the beginning of each church program year. Program leaders will inform parents of relevant policies either via a letter, parent meeting or email with read receipts.
For scheduled classes and events:
a. At programs and functions involving the supervision of youth, at least three individuals must be present in each separate classroom, vehicle, or other enclosed area. In each such case, at least one of the three individuals must be a screened adult.
b. A premises monitor will randomly observe classrooms or enclosed areas where the “Rule of Three” is practiced.
c. During scheduled classes or events, group leaders should know where the youth are at all times.
d. If a young person leaves an event without permission, the parents/guardian will be called immediately.
6. Guidelines for Pastoral Visitation
The following guidelines are provided to ensure safe and healthy practices of pastoral visitation:
All pastoral care visitors must have completed the volunteer application (Appendix F or G) and cleared a background check.
Pastoral care visits should be conducted in the morning, afternoon, or early evening.
Ordinarily, two unrelated pastoral care visitors will meet with a congregant when the visit is in a private location.
If a pastoral care visitor meets alone 1:1 with a congregant, they must log their visit in an active registry or report to the Care Council.
All pastoral care visitors will honor the limits of their role in giving care, referring congregants as the situation requires to the services of counselors, spiritual directors, and others who are better trained and resourced to meet a congregant’s needs.
The Council chair is responsible for overseeing that risk is being assessed, and these pastoral care guidelines are properly adhered to.
7. Responding to Abuse
A. Reporting/Responding to Disclosures and Allegations of Abuse of Minors or Vulnerable Adults
The following steps are to be followed in cases of suspected abuse of a minor or vulnerable adult. See also Appendix C: Responding to Disclosure of Abuse from a Child and the Safe Church Ministry Responding to Abuse Toolkit.
All ministry leaders/volunteers who have a reasonable suspicion of sexual, physical, or emotional abuse or neglect of a minor or vulnerable adult are responsible for reporting it directly within 24 hours to the Child Protective Services 24-hour hotline (800-422-4453) and/or the Ottawa County Sheriff, or in the case of an adult, Adult Protective Services (855-444-3911).
If you are uncertain of whether what you heard or saw constitutes evidence of abuse, consult with a member of Ferrysburg Community Church’s Safe Church Team (see Appendix B: Signs and Symptoms of Child Abuse for guidance).
If a minor or vulnerable adult is in immediate physical danger (either on church property or off the property), then the police (911) should be notified immediately.
The ministry leader/volunteer who suspects abuse should also contact the Safe Church Team leader to fill out an incident report (see Appendix I: Accident or Incident Report) in order to record their observations and follow-up actions. This documentation will be kept in a confidential, locked location in the church office.
Neither the ministry leader/volunteer nor the Safe Church Team leader will try to investigate the abuse concerns. Additionally, they will not seek to notify the alleged offender of the allegations against him or her. These tasks should be left to the police and/or CPS.
The Safe Church Team leader should inform the pastor and chair of the council of the concerns or allegations of abuse. Note that confidentiality is important in all cases of abuse, but especially when a minor is involved (see Appendix D: Confidentiality for protecting confidentiality and need-to-know reporting).
If the abuse happened during a church/ministry-sponsored activity or by a ministry leader/volunteer, in addition to ensuring that the police and/or CPS have been contacted, the Safe Church Team leader shall notify the church’s insurance agent and legal counsel.
Together with the pastor and the chair of council, the Safe Church Team leader will develop a plan for responding to the abuse in ways that provide care for the one who has been victimized by abuse and respects the dignity of all involved. The plan will include:
a. Putting the ministry leader on administrative leave with or without pay (or suspending a volunteer) for up to 90 days or until the conclusion of the investigation, whichever is sooner.
b. Providing support and care for the minor and their family. This should be done in a way that puts the needs of the minor and his/her family first.
c. Determining who will be the primary contact with the police and/or CPS.
d. Determining how to deal with media inquiries.
e. Contacting the classical Safe Church Coordinator and/or the denominational Safe Church Ministry (safechurchministry@crcna.org) for further counsel.
After the accused has been contacted by the authorities and the investigation is underway, the elders will provide an opportunity for the accused to respond to the allegations.
If the accused is found guilty or admits guilt, the elders may (1) subject a determined abuser (hereafter abuser) to further suspension, deposition, or termination of employment, or (2) take such other action against the abuser as the circumstances may dictate.
Should the determined abuser be an office bearer, the elders will follow the specifications for admonition and discipline in the Church Order, Articles 82-84.
Subject to the best interest of the person victimized by abuse, the governing body should notify the congregation in writing if they conclude that a church leader has perpetrated abuse. This notice should protect the identity and confidentiality of any innocent parties, including the person who was victimized by abuse. This written communication should be pastoral, succinct, and objectively factual. Referencing public police reports, charges, or court verdicts may be used.
If law enforcement decides not to investigate or charge an adult leader of the congregation who has been accused of abusing a child or vulnerable adult, an independent investigation should be considered in consultation with legal counsel and Safe Church Ministry.
B. Responding to Allegations of Abuse of Adults:
If an adult (the claimant) reports abuse to a member of a Safe Church Team, the pastor, or a member of the council, the Safe Church team leader, the pastor, and the elders (or a few members of the council) will do the following:
Assign the claimant an advocate who can walk alongside, support, and represent the claimant throughout the reporting and investigation process.
Meet with the claimant and/or the advocate to hear the complaint, the impact it has had on the complainant and what the claimant feels needs to happen for them to feel safe at Ferrysburg Community Church again. The claimant may present their testimony orally, but should also submit their statement in writing, or alternatively, an incident report can be filled out at the meeting and signed by the claimant. The written statement or incident report will be kept in a confidential, locked location in the church office.
Suspend the accused from their duties without prejudice until the allegations have been investigated.
Based on the information gathered, develop a plan for assessing the veracity of the allegations. Ordinarily, the plan will involve at least one of the following processes:
a. An informal response led by a designated investigation team that meets with the accused to follow up on the allegations. The conversation shall include:
i. A report of the event as the claimant experienced it
ii. An account of how the claimant was impacted by the accused’s actions
iii. An opportunity for the accused to respond to the allegations
iv. A request that the accused not contact the claimant directly until further notice.
v. A report of the conversation, detailing the accused’s response that is filed with the incident report.
b. An advisory panel process exploring the gravity and probability of the allegations of abuse (the classical Safe Church Coordinator or the denominational Safe Church Ministry office is available to help assemble the panel)
c. An independent investigation into the allegations of abuse (the denominational Safe Church Ministry office will keep a list of reputable investigators). It is strongly recommended that councils make use of a third-party investigator when:
i. The accused is a prominent leader in the community or region, such that impartiality is especially elusive;
ii. The accusations consist of multiple victims or multiple jurisdictions;
iii. Real or perceived conflicts of interest make impartiality especially elusive.
d. If the accused is an office bearer, the elders/council will follow the Guidelines for Handling Abuse Allegations Against a Church Leader and include the church visitors in their initial deliberations about the best way forward.
Based on the information gathered (and the recommendations of the informal investigation team, the advisory panel or the third-party investigators), the Safe Church Team leader, claimant’s advocate, pastor, and elders (or a few council members) will determine a plan of action for responding to abuse. If the allegations are found credible, the plan will include:
a. A determination of appropriate measures of discipline and opportunities for restoration. This could include suspension of church leadership for a period of time, counseling, abuse of power training, mentoring, oversight and accountability, a written apology to the claimant, or, if an office bearer is involved, deposition.
b. A plan for providing ongoing care and accountability for the accused.
c. A plan for providing ongoing care and support for the claimant.
d. Provisions for counseling for the claimant.
e. If the claimant desires, an opportunity to participate in a restorative conversation with members of the council, members of the church, and/or the accused (Information on Restorative Circle Processes may be found at crcna.org/safechurch/restorative).
Throughout the process, every effort will be made to protect the confidentiality and dignity of the claimant and the accused.
The classical Safe Church Coordinator and the denominational Safe Church Ministry office are available for support, counsel, and resources throughout the process.
Appendix A: State/Provincial Definitions
The State of Michigan has defined child abuse and neglect as follows:
A. Child Abuse: Harm or threatened harm to a child's health or welfare that occurs through non-accidental physical or mental injury, sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, or maltreatment, by a parent, a legal guardian, or any other person responsible for the child's health or welfare, or by a teacher, a teacher's aide, or a member of the clergy.
B. Child Neglect: Harm or threatened harm to a child's health or welfare by a parent, legal guardian, or any other person responsible for the child's health or welfare that occurs through either of the following:
a. negligent treatment, including the failure to provide adequate food, clothing, shelter, or medical care, or
b. Placing a child at an unreasonable risk to the child's health or welfare by failure of the parent, legal guardian, or other person responsible for the child's health or welfare to intervene to eliminate that risk when that person is able to do so and has, or should have, knowledge of the risk.
Appendix B: Signs and Symptoms of Child Abuse – School Age
Note: Children rarely exhibit just one sign indicating that they are the victims of abuse. Some symptoms may also represent typical developmental changes, or the after-effect of other kinds of trauma in their lives. Conversely, it is possible for abuse to be taking place without the appearance of any symptoms because of the child’s ability to mask or deny what is very confusing and painful to acknowledge. Generally, several symptoms appearing at once may be an indication of abuse.
Complaints of pain, irritation, soreness, or redness on the child’s bottom; smearing feces on walls or objects
Pattern of injuries, multiple injuries, injuries about the face or neck; failure to complain about or explain an obvious physical discomfort; hiding bruises
Unusual fears: a familiar person, a particular room, a particular object, or a fear of new experiences
Poor concentration in the classroom; inability to focus
Exhibiting adult-pleasing behaviors, striving for perfection, acting miserable if failing
Engaging in self-injury, engaging in excessive masturbation, or masturbating in a public setting
Acting enraged and out of control, expressing anger through destruction
Shyness or fear of physical touch
Exhibiting sexual behavior beyond comprehension or maturity level; behaving in a sexual manner with other children or adults
Exhibiting signs of needing to be in control of others or situations; bullying others
Hostility and distrust of adults, mood swings and irritability, violent disruptions
Acting out, including hoarding food and toys, lying, stealing, and assaulting
Frequent absences from school or other scheduled events because of being punished
Low self-esteem, particular sensitivity to criticism
Hyper-vigilance, excessive and suspicious watching of other people; easily startled
Preoccupation with fire and setting fires
Eating disorders, use of laxatives, and unexplained and dramatic changes in weight
Appendix C: Responding to a Disclosure of Abuse from a Child
The following set of guidelines pertains to information that a child may wish to disclose to an adult.
If a child asks to talk with you at church, provide a room (with a window) in which to speak privately.
Listen carefully to what the child tells you and respond in a supportive, nonjudgmental manner. Disclosing abuse is a scary thing for children, and they need to know they are supported.
Do not appear frightened or disgusted by the child’s story, since this may cause the child to stop talking or to believe you are upset with him or her.
Avoid asking leading questions. Examples of what you could say: “Can you tell me more?” “Is there anything you need to add?” Do not try to convince the child that the story isn’t true or that it didn’t happen the way he or she reports it did.
Do not attempt to assess the truthfulness of the child’s disclosure—that will be for trained professionals to decide. Assure the child you believe him/her and that you care about him/her.
Tell the child that whatever happened was not his or her fault and reassure the child that he/she does not deserve to be hurt by anyone.
Do not tell or suggest to the child that he or she has been abused.
Reassure the child that he or she did the right thing by telling you.
Do not promise not to tell anyone. Tell the child that you need to find help so the incident can be prevented from happening again.
Do not frighten the child by talking about police involvement or medical examinations to verify the complaint. Instead, share with the child that other people need to know what happened and that they will talk to the child later.
Do not ask the child to show you any bruises that are beneath the child’s underwear or clothing; observe only those bruises that are accessible.
If you feel comfortable doing so, speak to the child and offer support in the following weeks and months.
Appendix D: Confidentiality
In order to protect the dignity and well-being of any person who has been victimized by abuse, it is important that their identity is kept confidential. The following measures are implemented to protect the privacy of all parties and to ensure that information about any alleged act is limited to essential persons:
A. Need-to-Know: Those positions in the need-to-know category include the following: chair of council, pastor, the pastoral care elders for the claimant and accused, and the FCC Safe Church Team.
B. Situations of abuse involving minors or vulnerable adults require sensitive care and full transparency with law enforcement investigations. In situations of abuse involving minors or vulnerable adults, there shall be a designated Safe Church Team member, pastor, or elder who consults the CRCNA Safe Church Ministry or a Classis Safe Church Coordinator.
C. The names and information in any abuse allegations shall be limited to the positions listed in paragraph A. Need to Know on this page. Any request to release names of any involved party must first be cleared by the congregation’s legal counsel.
D. Discussion by Council or Committees of Council shall be conducted without the actual names of involved persons being used. Instead, descriptions such as “reporter”, “alleged offender”, and “claimant" shall be used.
E. A liaison between the legal authorities or Child Protective Services and the church staff/council will be appointed.
F. After law enforcement has officially charged someone with a crime or after a legal decision has been made, there will be a communication outlining ways that the church and community may be able to move forward with respect and in a responsible way to process the harm within the congregation and community.
