The Limits of Love: Boundaries

One of the essential qualities of love is its permanence.  No matter what, love never dies or fails.  This is a comforting thought when it comes to God’s love.  It’s a secure feeling to think about the permanence of love when we are the ones being loved.  But there’s a flip side to this too.  What happens when we are the ones doing the loving?  What happens when we are the ones called to love in this way?  It brings up a very important question:  Are there limits to love?  Is there a point at which we can stop loving someone?  How do we handle toxic or abusive relationships?  Is it ever okay to stop loving?

The short answer is: no.  But let me elaborate.  We are called to love in every situation and at all times.  Yet there are definitely situations and times where love must change.  An abusive or toxic situation still requires love.  But that love will be, by necessity, from a greater distance.  We can still love someone who has hurt or damages us.  But we will love them with a realistic amount of trust in what they might do.  Love becomes enlightened by our experience and adjusts accordingly.  But it never stops.  It always remains, even if the form changes.