Community and Codependence

Psychological terms have found their way into everyday language.  Words like “boundaries” and “issues” have become part of normal speech.  Another term that gets used a lot is “codependence.”  Codependence occurs when a person attaches their own mental well-being and value to another person.  This happens when we can’t be happy unless our spouse or child or parent is happy.  We take on the weight of making sure these people are okay and happy.  Our state of mind is tied to the plight of others.

So when the Bible tells us to “rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15), is it asking us to be codependent?  Christian community is not at all codependent.  Our happiness and joy are not attached to another person, but to God’s promises and goodness.  Christian community recognizes that life is hard.  Out of love for a sister or brother, we share their tears.  Out of a desire to see God’s best for them, we rejoice with them in their growth and achievements.  But our happiness is never staked on another human being.  Our only comfort lies not in the happiness of someone we love, but in the fact that we belong to Jesus.